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He was twelve years old, one of over three hundred students present when
I presented an assembly on Sexual Abuse and Prevention. He had left with the
rest of the students, and then slipped back into the auditorium to talk to
me only after everyone else had exited.
He took a deep breath, then the words began to gush out of him. "My
uncle began to molest me when I was five years old," he stammered,
obviously embarrassed. "He didn't stop until I was eight. The
last couple of years, . . . well, I've been scared."
I was pretty sure where he was going with this, but I knew he had to verbalize
it. "Why have you been afraid?" I asked.
His embarrassment intensified. "Because I've heard jokes about
gay people, and I wonder, 'Why did he pick me?' I use to think
maybe I was gay, especially when somebody would say, 'It takes one
to know one.'"
The shame and embarrassment on his countenance suddenly was transformed
into relief. "But you taught sexual abuse is not a crime of passion,
it's a crime of violence and control. You said that the turn on for
the perpetrator (he momentarily stuttered as he pronounced that word) was
not the appearance of the victim, but the control they had over them. You
told us that if we are ever molested by somebody of our own gender that
it does not mean we're gay, it simply means that we were vulnerable."
Suddenly he reached out and grabbed my hands. "Thank you. Thank you
so much. I know that it's not my fault . . . I know I'm not gay!"
My heart ached for him as I watched his excitement. I knew that this was
not the end of his pain, but rather it was just the first step on his road
to healing. As a mandated reporter, I had to request an investigation, and
his parents would have to be informed as well. It would then be up to Children
and Youth Services to arrange for the counseling he desperately needed.
Although my heart still ached, it rejoiced with him as well. He had grabbed
hold of some truth, and that truth had begun to breakdown the strongholds
of bondage in his life. I remembered the words of Jesus in John 8:32, "And
you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
I bowed my head in prayer, "Lord, You came to heal the broken hearted,
to set at liberty those who are oppressed, use me for this high and holy
purpose, in Jesus name, Amen."
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