There are many unbalanced teachings about headship that abound in the Kingdom of God, so much so that just the word "headship" is enough to make even dedicated Christian women cringe. Why do they have this reaction? Because the position of headship is not being properly taught.

Headship in the Christian family is usually taught from the prospective that man, as the head of the family, is the "boss." The end result of this mentality is that many carnal Christian husbands use their position of headship as an excuse to manipulate, control, dictate and rule over their family. What they fail to recognize is this, God does not promote that we might rule and dictate, but rather, that we may serve.

Christ's example of love and humility is clearly portrayed in Philippians 2:5-7. "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, (in other words, think the same way Jesus did, embrace the same attitude that Jesus had) who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant, and coming in the likeness of men."

A vivid object lesson of this principal is found in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 12:21-28 where we see the mother of James and John, coming to Jesus, acting as their "agent." In verse 21 Jesus asked her, "What do you wish?"

Her response? "Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand, the other on Your left in Your Kingdom."

Verse 24 reveals the response of the other apostles, "And when the ten heard it they were moved with indignation against the two brothers."

In verses 24-28 Jesus puts an end to this controversy with a simple proclamation. "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave, . . . just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

The Book of Exodus, chapters 37-50 contains the account of a mighty man of God who had to learn this lesson the hard way! God revealed to Joseph in a dream that he would be the head of his family. In teen-age arrogance, Joseph assumed that God was promoting him that he might rule over his family. I can just see him strutting around like a proud peacock. "God showed me that I'm going to be the head of our family. Get use to it, 'cause I'm the man, you can kiss my ring!"

What Joseph didn't realize was that God does not promote that we might rule and dictate, He promotes that we might serve. Knowing that this controlling, dictatorial attitude would destroy Joseph's family, God allowed Joseph to be sold into slavery, and ultimately, falsely imprisoned. Joseph's very survival is now contingent upon his ability to become a faithful servant. It was only after Joseph had learned faithfulness in this environment of enforced servitude that God promoted him. Ironically, the very ones that God had called Joseph to serve were the ones who had tried to destroy him, first the Egyptians, then his very family who had betrayed him and sold him into slavery.

Headship does not make the husband an independent entity within his family, nor does it place the wife into a position of slavish, religious, dependence on her husband. God has called husband and wife into a relationship of interdependence, with the wife's strengths compensating for her husband's weaknesses, and the husband's strengths compensating for his wife's weaknesses. Together their combined strength becomes greater than the sum total of the individual parts as their lives become one with each other and one with God!